women

If you think it might offend someone, chuck it in here where the wusses don't look!
Post Reply
User avatar
KiwiStaz
I like starions more
Posts: 150
Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2005 8:54 am
Location: Christchurch New Zealand
Contact:

women

Post by KiwiStaz »

decided to swap jokes as the previous one had already been posted - how about this one

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN
Take off clothes and place them sectioned in the laundry basket
according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do
more sit-ups/leg-lifts etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and
pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it is clean.
Condition your hair with conditioner enhanced with grapefruit and mint.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until
red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mould spots with tile cleaner.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in a super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and the hand towel on
head.
If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave in a
pile on the floor.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see your wife along the way, shake willy at her making the
"woo-woo" sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your
willy and scratch your bum.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse it off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair.
Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Wee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath
the whole time.
Admire willy size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the
"woo-woo" sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.

Has this one been posted yet?
Last edited by KiwiStaz on Wed Jun 14, 2006 4:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Alspos
Flucking kwankers
Posts: 4107
Joined: Thu Jan 08, 2004 2:09 pm
Location: Melbourne
Contact:

Post by Alspos »

Hehehehehe :)
User avatar
madeofmilo
Enthusiast
Posts: 578
Joined: Fri May 21, 2004 5:53 pm
Location: Melb - East

Post by madeofmilo »

i just posted this about 2 weeks ago. My thread was "hmm husband store".
My JA has perfect motor - FMIC - forgies - high flow head but...rusted front guards and keyed on every panel. Time to get serious or time to take it to the tip.
User avatar
KiwiStaz
I like starions more
Posts: 150
Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2005 8:54 am
Location: Christchurch New Zealand
Contact:

Post by KiwiStaz »

oops sorry
User avatar
rallidave
Enthusiast king
Posts: 889
Joined: Mon Feb 27, 2006 11:14 pm
Location: cairns

Post by rallidave »

giggles none the less :wtf:
85 JB 4g63 SOHC
94 EVO2 4g63 DOHC
i wanna go fast
User avatar
KiwiStaz
I like starions more
Posts: 150
Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2005 8:54 am
Location: Christchurch New Zealand
Contact:

Post by KiwiStaz »

joke changed - sorry madeofmilo for the repeat.
User avatar
TD05
it's probably their firewall
Posts: 1404
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2004 11:23 am
Location: Brisbane

Post by TD05 »

funny but sadly true :(
Kiss my st AZZ -
Starions rule the sports car world
GTI-R's are best in the wet..
Who needs Rock & Roll when there's JAZZ, Honda RULEZ
User avatar
Glen GSR III
guess its me thats broke
Posts: 581
Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 7:34 pm
Location: Toowoomba, Queensland

Post by Glen GSR III »

Fuck thats gold rofl rofl
82 GSR III starion (respray nearly complete!)
83 JA Starion...Daily Driver
01 KTM 520 trail bike (reason the staz isnt finished yet)
User avatar
SIR GSR
Loose Cannon
Posts: 1359
Joined: Thu Oct 06, 2005 12:00 pm
Location: On boost in Cairns

Post by SIR GSR »

It's so true...But for the woman...they need to wash themselves about 10 times more than you said LOL
KBS Drift Team
0409 487 321
Image
User avatar
TD05
it's probably their firewall
Posts: 1404
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2004 11:23 am
Location: Brisbane

Post by TD05 »

SIR GSR wrote:It's so true...But for the woman...they need to wash themselves about 10 times more than you said LOL
gee, they're dirty creatures ?? :D
Kiss my st AZZ -
Starions rule the sports car world
GTI-R's are best in the wet..
Who needs Rock & Roll when there's JAZZ, Honda RULEZ
Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 35 guests