MORNING. I WENT DOWNSTAIRS FOR BREAKFAST HOPING MY WIFE WOULD BE
PLEASANT AND SAY, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!", AND POSSIBLY HAVE A PRESENT FOR ME.
AS IT TURNED OUT, SHE BARELY SAID GOOD MORNING, LET ALONE "HAPPY
BIRTHDAY." I THOUGHT... WELL, THAT'S MARRIAGE FOR YOU, BUT THE KIDS WILL
REMEMBER. MY KIDS CAME INTO BREAKFAST AND DIDN'T SAY A WORD. SO WHEN I
LEFT FOR THE OFFICE, I WAS FEELING PRETTY LOW AND SOMEWHAT DESPONDENT.
AS I WALKED INTO MY OFFICE, MY SECRETARY, JANE SAID, "GOOD
MORNING, BOSS, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" IT FELT A LITTLE BETTER THAT AT LEAST
SOMEONE HAD REMEMBERED. I WORKED UNTIL ONE O'CLOCK AND THEN JANE KNOCKED
ON MY DOOR AND SAID, "YOU KNOW, IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY OUTSIDE, AND
IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY, LET'S GO OUT TO LUNCH, JUST YOU AND ME." I SAID,
"THANKS JANE, THAT'S THE GREATEST THING I'VE HEARD ALL DAY. LET'S GO!"
WE WENT TO LUNCH. BUT WE DIDN'T GO WHERE WE NORMALLY WOULD GO. WE DINED
INSTEAD AT A LITTLE PLACE WITH A PRIVATE TABLE. WE HAD TWO MARTINIS EACH
AND I ENJOYED THE MEAL TREMENDOUSLY. ON THE WAY BACK TO THE OFFICE, JANE
SAID, "YOU KNOW, IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY... WE DON'T NEED TO GO BACK
TO THE OFFICE, DO WE?" I RESPONDED, "I GUESS NOT. WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN
MIND?" SHE SAID, "LET'S GO TO MY APARTMENT." AFTER ARRIVING AT HER
APARTMENT JANE TURNED TO ME AND SAID, "BOSS, IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'M
GOING TO STEP INTO THE BEDROOM FOR A MOMENT. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK." "OK."
I NERVOUSLY REPLIED. SHE WENT INTO THE BEDROOM AND, AFTER A COUPLE OF
MINUTES, SHE CAME OUT CARRYING A HUGE BIRTHDAY CAKE... FOLLOWED BY MY
WIFE, KIDS, AND DOZENS OF MY FRIENDS AND COWORKERS, ALL SINGING "HAPPY
BIRTHDAY". AND I JUST SAT THERE..............
ON THE COUCH..............
NAKED.
