add yr blonde jokes here, but make them worthy.....
It had to be done.........let me start it off.
...........................................................................................
A blind man enters a Lesbian Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a
barstool and orders a drink.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you
wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice,
the woman next to him says,
"Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair - given that
you are blind - that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 220 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in
karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional
weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional
wrestler.
So think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares,
"Nah. Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
:D :D :D :D
sorry Mel..!!
Blond Jokes
Blonde is driving along a country road in her $150k mercedes during a beautiful summers day, when all of a sudden she spots another blonde in a field, sitting in a row boat trying to row! The blonde slams the brakes on, slides up to a halt, runs over to the fence and yells "Hey, I've worked too damn hard and too damn long to be insulted like this! It's blondes like you that give blondes like me a bad name! If I could swim i'd get over there and beat you senseless!"
-
DasKar
- *** Half Century Post ***
- Posts: 50
- Joined: Tue Feb 28, 2006 12:40 pm
- Location: Melbourne-Mt Macedon
Blondes have more fun----???
May not be blonde,,but funny,,
Whats yellow and mows my lawn??? my nigga and i paint him any colour i want----
What do you tell a blonde girl with 2 black eyes??nothing you already told her twice---
what do you call a greek skydiver???Condescending
Whats the most dangerous job in italy???riding shotgun on a shitcart---
whats pink and spits??baby in a frypan
whats black and blue and hates sex??a rape victim
whats yellow and blue sits on the bottom of a pool??baby with busted floatys--
whats yellow blue and greem sits in the bottom of a pool???baby with busted floatys after a week--
blonde brunette jump outa a plane ,who will hit he ground first? brunette
blonde stops and asks for directions
Why did the dog cross the road?? it was sniffing the chickens arse--
me thinks jumping on this forum at 0200 chinesed eyed is to blame for this-- i apologise in advance to all
Whats yellow and mows my lawn??? my nigga and i paint him any colour i want----
What do you tell a blonde girl with 2 black eyes??nothing you already told her twice---
what do you call a greek skydiver???Condescending
Whats the most dangerous job in italy???riding shotgun on a shitcart---
whats pink and spits??baby in a frypan
whats black and blue and hates sex??a rape victim
whats yellow and blue sits on the bottom of a pool??baby with busted floatys--
whats yellow blue and greem sits in the bottom of a pool???baby with busted floatys after a week--
blonde brunette jump outa a plane ,who will hit he ground first? brunette
blonde stops and asks for directions
Why did the dog cross the road?? it was sniffing the chickens arse--
me thinks jumping on this forum at 0200 chinesed eyed is to blame for this-- i apologise in advance to all
-
WidebodyWoody
- Woodwide
- Posts: 3133
- Joined: Thu Jan 08, 2004 6:24 pm
- Location: Gold Coast
- Contact:
-
madeofmilo
- Enthusiast
- Posts: 578
- Joined: Fri May 21, 2004 5:53 pm
- Location: Melb - East
A very millionaire blond walks into a bank and asks for a $1000 loan. The bank manager reminds her of her wealth, still she persists wanting the $1000. The manager agrees and asks for collateral, the blond suggests the Mercedez Benz she owns. The bank agrees and takes possesion of the car and lends the money.
A week later she returns and pays off her $1000 and claims her car back. After fees and charges she owes $17. Everyone is shocked and thinks she is a complete twat. So the manager asks her "why being a millionaire would you loan $1000"
She replies "I needed to go overseas for the week, as I live on a yaught my car usually sits on the street, so I figured, 'where else can I get undercover, secured parking, where the car is under someone else's insurance for $17?'"
so maybe blondes aren't that dumb :P
A week later she returns and pays off her $1000 and claims her car back. After fees and charges she owes $17. Everyone is shocked and thinks she is a complete twat. So the manager asks her "why being a millionaire would you loan $1000"
She replies "I needed to go overseas for the week, as I live on a yaught my car usually sits on the street, so I figured, 'where else can I get undercover, secured parking, where the car is under someone else's insurance for $17?'"
so maybe blondes aren't that dumb :P
My JA has perfect motor - FMIC - forgies - high flow head but...rusted front guards and keyed on every panel. Time to get serious or time to take it to the tip.
Not a blonde joke, but a couple good ones none the less :D
A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him. The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?"
The mother replies "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it."
"You're wasting your time, " said the boy.
"Why is that?" asked his mom, puzzled.
"Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up."
A man and his wife are lying in bed talking one night...
wife: Honey, if I died tomorrow, would you start dating again?
dude: Well, after a considerable amount of grieving, I might, but I couldn't say right now.
wife: Well, supposing you did start dating again, would you remarry?
dude: I dunno. Maybe, I guess. Why?
wife: No particular reason. Just making conversation.
wife: Okay. If, after I died, you started dating again, met another woman, and the two of you got married, would you let her live in our house?
dude: Why not? This house is just as much mine as it is yours!
wife (getting annoyed): So you would let her live in our house? What about our bed? Would you sleep with this other woman in our bed?
dude (getting annoyed): I can't believe you're asking all these ridiculous questions! Yes. I would let her sleep in this bed. It's just a bed, after all.
wife (you know this tone of voice, fellas): I suppose you'd let her use my golf clubs, too!
dude: No way. She's left handed.
Subject: Joke: 1 woman's trash
The wife comes home early & finds her husband in their master bedroom making love to a beautiful, sexy young lady!
"You unfaithful, disrespectful pig! What are you doing? How dare you do this to me the faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm eaving this house, I want a divorce!"
The husband, replies "Wait, Wait a minute! Before you leave, at least listen to what happened"
"Hmm, I don't know, well, it'll be the last thing I will hear from you.
But make it fast, you unfaithful pig, you!"
The husband begins to tell his story . . . "While driving home this young lady asked for a ride. I saw her so defenseless that I went ahead and allowed her in my car. I noticed that she was very thin, not welldressed and very dirty. She mentioned that she had not eaten for 3 days.
With great compassion I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladasthat I made for you last night that you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll gain weight; the poor thing practically devoured them."
"Since she was very dirty I asked if she wanted to take a shower. While she was showering, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw her clothes away. Since she needed clothes, I gave her the pair of jeans that you have had for a few years, that you can no longer wear because they are too tight on you, I also gave her the blouse that I gave you on our anniversary and you don't wear because I don't have good taste."
"I gave her the pullover that my sister gave you for Christmas that you will not wear just to bother my sister and I also gave her the boots that you bought at the expensive boutique that you never wore again after you saw your co-worker wearing the same pair."
The husband continues his story . . . . .
"The young woman was very grateful to me and I walked her to the door.When we got to the door she turned around and with tears coming out of hereyes, she asks me: "Sir, do you have anything else that your wife does not use?"
:P
A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him. The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?"
The mother replies "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it."
"You're wasting your time, " said the boy.
"Why is that?" asked his mom, puzzled.
"Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up."
A man and his wife are lying in bed talking one night...
wife: Honey, if I died tomorrow, would you start dating again?
dude: Well, after a considerable amount of grieving, I might, but I couldn't say right now.
wife: Well, supposing you did start dating again, would you remarry?
dude: I dunno. Maybe, I guess. Why?
wife: No particular reason. Just making conversation.
wife: Okay. If, after I died, you started dating again, met another woman, and the two of you got married, would you let her live in our house?
dude: Why not? This house is just as much mine as it is yours!
wife (getting annoyed): So you would let her live in our house? What about our bed? Would you sleep with this other woman in our bed?
dude (getting annoyed): I can't believe you're asking all these ridiculous questions! Yes. I would let her sleep in this bed. It's just a bed, after all.
wife (you know this tone of voice, fellas): I suppose you'd let her use my golf clubs, too!
dude: No way. She's left handed.
Subject: Joke: 1 woman's trash
The wife comes home early & finds her husband in their master bedroom making love to a beautiful, sexy young lady!
"You unfaithful, disrespectful pig! What are you doing? How dare you do this to me the faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm eaving this house, I want a divorce!"
The husband, replies "Wait, Wait a minute! Before you leave, at least listen to what happened"
"Hmm, I don't know, well, it'll be the last thing I will hear from you.
But make it fast, you unfaithful pig, you!"
The husband begins to tell his story . . . "While driving home this young lady asked for a ride. I saw her so defenseless that I went ahead and allowed her in my car. I noticed that she was very thin, not welldressed and very dirty. She mentioned that she had not eaten for 3 days.
With great compassion I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladasthat I made for you last night that you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll gain weight; the poor thing practically devoured them."
"Since she was very dirty I asked if she wanted to take a shower. While she was showering, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw her clothes away. Since she needed clothes, I gave her the pair of jeans that you have had for a few years, that you can no longer wear because they are too tight on you, I also gave her the blouse that I gave you on our anniversary and you don't wear because I don't have good taste."
"I gave her the pullover that my sister gave you for Christmas that you will not wear just to bother my sister and I also gave her the boots that you bought at the expensive boutique that you never wore again after you saw your co-worker wearing the same pair."
The husband continues his story . . . . .
"The young woman was very grateful to me and I walked her to the door.When we got to the door she turned around and with tears coming out of hereyes, she asks me: "Sir, do you have anything else that your wife does not use?"
:P
Computer games don't affect kids I mean if PacMan affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music :D
madeofmilo wrote:A very millionaire blond walks into a bank and asks for a $1000 loan. The bank manager reminds her of her wealth, still she persists wanting the $1000. The manager agrees and asks for collateral, the blond suggests the Mercedez Benz she owns. The bank agrees and takes possesion of the car and lends the money.
A week later she returns and pays off her $1000 and claims her car back. After fees and charges she owes $17. Everyone is shocked and thinks she is a complete twat. So the manager asks her "why being a millionaire would you loan $1000"
She replies "I needed to go overseas for the week, as I live on a yaught my car usually sits on the street, so I figured, 'where else can I get undercover, secured parking, where the car is under someone else's insurance for $17?'"
so maybe blondes aren't that dumb :P
madeofmilo IS blonde
Kiss my st AZZ -
Starions rule the sports car world
GTI-R's are best in the wet..
Who needs Rock & Roll when there's JAZZ, Honda RULEZ
Starions rule the sports car world
GTI-R's are best in the wet..
Who needs Rock & Roll when there's JAZZ, Honda RULEZ
-
WidebodyWoody
- Woodwide
- Posts: 3133
- Joined: Thu Jan 08, 2004 6:24 pm
- Location: Gold Coast
- Contact:
-
madeofmilo
- Enthusiast
- Posts: 578
- Joined: Fri May 21, 2004 5:53 pm
- Location: Melb - East
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 28 guests