Soooooooooooooo are we sitting comfortably? Then now i'll begin........
We last left our intrepid Starion hero (??????) in the "Wizards" shed, die grinder in hand!
"What the hell is this says I?" "It is my trusty wand says the great one" (think deep all powerful voice) "now grind out that exhaust housing, quick smart"
So I duly set to with the distant sound of "it'll bolt straight on, cmon man" ringing in my head, whilst the great one wanders around fiddling with this, hmmming over that and polishing whatever!
Two hours pass...."have you finished?" rumbles the oracle "well I think so" says I "it is rather hard work though!"
The great one wanders over for a look, rolls his eyes to heaven and says " well thats not very good, you've got to do better than that! Get back to it"
Another two hours pass.....the great one wanders over again for another look "hmmm you're making very hard work of that, here let me try"
So I dutifully hand over the mystical device and the all powerful one sets to with a vengeance!
I wander outside for a breath of air. Five minutes later..... and he declares "the job is done"....."Arse" says I "how did you do that?" "I sharpened it when you went outside just now, it was blunt!" says the great one with a glint in his eye. (He's obviously been watching far too much Lord of the Rings!)
So back we go to the turbo and the housing sort of fits but the grind is just not even enough. "It must be sent to the mystics at Precision Turbos for an even grind" says he who must be obeyed.
So the next week the turbo is sent to the mystics in the far off land of Wetherill Park! Where they duly grind out and fit said exhaust housing in a day, for the princely sum of 100 gold pieces (including horse drawn courier!)
"Arse" says I after explaining the whole story to the chief mystic, who says "you should have given the whole thing to us in the first place to do. Would have saved you heaps of time"
So the following weekend I duly return to the oracles cave in the mist ridden hills of the Northern Beaches for supervision on fitting the all powerful TD05 and it seems it might just "bolt on" after all.......
In a matter of minutes (about 120) off comes the TC06, "I'm getting quite good at this" I think to myself.
On goes the TD05....."good grief" I say to the great one "it bolts straight on!" Ahhhhh" rumbles the oracle "so it does, but nothing else fits"
"What" I exclaim as he points, screwdriver in hand, to what in my excitement and delusion in thinking that it might just have "bolted on", I have missed.
The wastegate arm doesn't reach the little doobry thingy it's supposed to attach to, the dipstick is now in the wrong position, the oil overflow canister is in the wrong place and the oil return pipe is disconnected and flapping around in the breeze under the car!
"Hmmmmm" says the great one, "we're going to have to do some modification to this to get it to work"
"Fark" says I (The term "arse" now seemed inappropriate.) "Bloody Cookie, I'm going to bolt this turbo to his arse, when I see him!"
"Never fear, oh most patient of Starion warriors" says the Great One "I have the power to fix this. Now get under that car and re-connect the oil return pipe"
So with much a bending of this, a modifying of that and a moving of the other, as night fell, the great one finally managed to connect everthing up again. "Take it for a spin" he said, with a kindly grin!
"Woo Hoo" I says on my return. "It pulls really well and spins up much quicker than my 06 and no smoke belching out of the exhaust"
"I bow down to your superior knowledge, oh great one"
"Oh it was nothing" says he modestly "and now.....it's time for a scotch"
So we duly retire to discuss the trials and tribulations of the days and weeks dramas surrounding the TD05H Big 16G and evetually I make my way home in my trusty steed.
"Hmmmmmm" methinks on the way home, "I wonder how well she will go" Vrooooooooooooom! "Shit she's making a lot of boost that must be around 16lbs. I wonder why she's doing that when the computer is set to 12."
Gets home and rings the oracle "Oh wise and powerful one" says I "Shes making about 16lbs of boost" "Good" says the wise one "but why have you bothered me with such trivia?" "Well," says I "the computer is set to 12lbs, how come?"
"Hmmmm" rumbles his greatness "thats not good, sounds like overboosting. You will drive it carefully, won't you? NO boost until I can look at it. Travel to my cave again soon for a further audience and we will see what we will see"
"Arse" says I. "No boost. Farkin Cookie. Just bolts on. Mutter, mutter......"
http://austarion.com/forums/view ... sc&start=0
The Saga continues! parts 3 (Must read pts 1 & 2)
The Saga continues! parts 3 (Must read pts 1 & 2)
Last edited by Darkelf on Wed Feb 09, 2005 9:59 am, edited 1 time in total.
I'm sorry when I said last year that I was dying to hear what happened I was being literal. Its taken so long to get this chapter I have in fact died and your efforts are now, as they say in Hollywood, "wasted".
Never argue with an idiot, it brings you down to their level and they beat you with experience.
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Cookiemonster
- Mother Goose
- Posts: 3177
- Joined: Thu Jan 08, 2004 4:33 pm
- Location: Sydney
-
Cookiemonster
- Mother Goose
- Posts: 3177
- Joined: Thu Jan 08, 2004 4:33 pm
- Location: Sydney
-
Cookiemonster
- Mother Goose
- Posts: 3177
- Joined: Thu Jan 08, 2004 4:33 pm
- Location: Sydney
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
Oh, the wise Cookie does not need the ability to spell while he
holds the power of "Knowledge of things that will bolt on directly! (Small print..... while many other things may need altering, re-adjusting, re-engineering to accommodate said item, it will bolt on if he says it will...) ((did he lie??))
Oh, the wise Cookie does not need the ability to spell while he
holds the power of "Knowledge of things that will bolt on directly! (Small print..... while many other things may need altering, re-adjusting, re-engineering to accommodate said item, it will bolt on if he says it will...) ((did he lie??))
You think that's fast??? You got nothin' on Roger!!
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