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The most embarrassing day of my life

Posted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 3:33 am
by Vulpes
Let me start by saying this is in no way intended as a slur against young Josh whom i bought the car off. He is a really nice guy and the car is what it is and I bought it for the parts only but bear in mind im nearly 50 and picture this scenario. My mate and I turn up at the depot to collect Josh's black JB. Complete with BARUP number plate ( i'm 50 ) and the front bumper has a hole in it the size if Tasmania so the world can see the HUGE intercooler which is the size of the dwarf star galacticon 5 ( im 50 ). Now its as loud as Christs second coming, the blow off valve makes a shrill noise like a banshee getting his testicles caught in a Leprechaun trap even at 500rpm ( im 50). So i'm shrinking as low as i can get into the drivers seat, trying to keep the RPM below 500 at every gearchange so as not to wake Freddy Kruger and I have my hand permanently glued to the side of my face just in case somebody I know is driving past and sees me. Not that I would be able to see them as the entire view out of the front window was obscured by a tacho so large that it generated its own gravity and made it hard to steer into right hand corners. Boost gauges, some other gauge i dont know what it did and the only gauge that worked on the dash was the tacho and speedo. I would have traded them all for a temperature gauge that worked sitting at the lights hoping it didnt boil. So we get to the first servo and it wont restart because the battery is dead. My mate is trying with his GT falcon to start it but no good. I nice guy comes by and asks can he help " thanks mate" I said "amazing isnt it the things we do for our kids this piece of shit is my sons car"..... so my mate and i are now out IN PUBLIC !!!!! with a black starion with no front bumper, the headlights are stuck up as if to say look at the 50 year old driving this thing and BARUP number plates. It was unquestionably the MOST embarrassing day of my life and the longest trip home, I took every back road i knew just in case somebody saw me. It only drove home to me the vast chasm between the young and the old. The fact young blokes like things like testosterone fed tachos amazes me. At least now i get the last laugh and am starting to pull it apart, for no other reason than to prevent anybody from ever having to suffer the indignity of what I endured today :) . Here's to the exuberance of youth and the class and subtleness of the elderly :beer Thank God im nearly 50 I wouldnt trade places for quids. Again, this is not intended as an attack or criticism of young Josh or the car itself it was just a very "interesting" drive home

Posted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 5:04 am
by OLD FART
rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl. Thats gold Dazza are you sure you're not having a mid life crisis LOL
Had a mental picture of you driving it home as I was reading :D

Posted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 6:17 am
by dirtygalant
haha! I'm half your age and I would agree with you on those points! I hate massively oversized intercoolers, especially where the bumpers have been hacked up to oblivion to show them off, and monsta tachos etc when the factory tacho will do the job just fine. Don't even get my started on oversized chrome wheels with terrible offsets which make the car look like a roller skate - it seems to be the common thing to do with modified cars in Australia, that and candy apple paint jobs with terrible white vinyl interiors!

Posted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 7:30 am
by TOMSUN
Good story... But your starting to sound like your in your 60's... You sure you're not getting to old for this... LOL

Posted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 8:00 am
by Lunacy
This story just made my morning haha :beer

Posted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 8:25 am
by thrash
there is just one problem with your story... banshees are female.. they don't have balls LOL

heck i'm half your age too and i don't like that kinda stuff.. go before show ftw

Posted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 9:02 am
by Cookiemonster
I guess coming to a cruise driving an auto mx5 must run a close 2nd then Daz. ;)

Posted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 9:21 am
by OLD FART
[quote="thrash"]there is just one problem with your story... banshees are female.. they don't have balls LO[/quote
Thrash mate they will have yours if you don't watch out :D :beer

Posted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 10:19 am
by enthuzed
LOL LOL
Nice! You painted a great picture of how you arranged to remove your dignity.
Function over form in my book.
Bling = bin! Yes it's fun removing monster tachos, cannon mufflers & painted wiper arms!

Posted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 10:30 am
by WidebodyWoody
I am half your age as well and agree. I was into show MANY years ago, but that extremely quickly subsided. But in no way did I ever want a monster tacho. Gauges yes, but only to be useful to me. Go before Show all the way, but there is nothing wrong with a bit of show so long as its classy. :beer

Posted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 11:55 am
by hoongirl
Cookiemonster wrote:I guess coming to a cruise driving an auto mx5 must run a close 2nd then Daz. ;)
rofl

Posted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 4:00 pm
by robert26t
hahahaha thats awesome. I cant comment though, Ive had my fair share of rice / autosalon cars

Posted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 5:43 pm
by Vulpes
:oops: Ok Cookie and Hoongirl, the MX5 is my WIFES !!! car and yes its as embarrassing as hell to drive too. Maybe your right, maybe I am getting too old for this and by the way Cookie, whats with showing up on a cruise in a manual Elise :x ........................ok, that taunt didn't go well.

Posted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 6:10 pm
by Cookiemonster
Vulpes wrote::oops: Ok Cookie and Hoongirl, the MX5 is my WIFES !!! car and yes its as embarrassing as hell to drive too. Maybe your right, maybe I am getting too old for this and by the way Cookie, whats with showing up on a cruise in a manual Elise :x ........................ok, that taunt didn't go well.
LOL... we luv ya Daz! :)

Posted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 8:18 pm
by 1320ft
You loved it. It's ok, you can tell us.

Should have gone via Brighton