Austarion

"Hello, is this the police?"
"Yes it is. How can we help you?"
"I'm calling to report my neighbour, Wazza. He's hiding cocaine inside
his firewood!"
"Thank you very much for the call."

The next day, police officers descend on Wazza's house in great numbers.
They search the house and then go out to the shed where the firewood is
kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of firewood but they find
no cocaine. They swear at Wazza and leave.

The phone rings at Wazza's house.

"Hey, Wazz, Did the cops come?"
"Yeah!"
"Did they chop up your firewood?"
"Yep."

"Happy Birthday maaaaaaate!"

bloody brilliant