Yuppee & the farmer

If you think it might offend someone, chuck it in here where the wusses don't look!
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panda
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Joined: Fri Apr 18, 2008 2:56 pm
Location: Mount Gambier, South Australia

Yuppee & the farmer

Post by panda »

An old station hand named Billy was overseeing his herd in a remote
pasture in the outback when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward
him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan®
sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the old man,
"If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd,
will you give me a calf?"

Billy looks at the young man, who obviously is a
yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing
herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell®
notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular
RAZR V3® cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on
the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite
to get an exact fix on his location which he
then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans
the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The yuppie then opens the digital photo in Adobe
Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing
facility in Hamburg, Germany ...

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm
Pilot® that the image has been processed and the
data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL®
database through an ODBC connected Excel®
spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry® and,
after a few minutes, receives a response.


Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page
report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet®
printer, turns to Billy and says, "You have
exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, you'll be helpin yourself
to one of me calves, then, since you won it fair ‘n square." says Billy.

He watches the smartly dressed yuppie select one
of the animals and looks on with amusement as
the man gingerly picks it up & stuffs it into the boot of his car.

As the yuppie is carefully
brushing the dust & hair off his suit, Billy
says, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what work
you do & where you come from, will you give me back my calf?"

The yuppie thinks about it for a second,
wondering what this wrinkled up dirt encrusted
uneducated old man could possibly know? He
grins and then says, "Okay, old fella, why not? I'm a believer in fair play."

"You're a politician & you work in Canberra."
says the old timer.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but,
tell me how on earth did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered Billy "You
showed up here even though nobody called you;
you want to get paid for an answer I already
knew, to a question I never asked. You used
millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to
show me how much smarter than me you are; and
you don't know a thing about how working people
make a living - or about cows, for that matter.
This is a herd of sheep.

Now give me back my dog."
Dreams have no limits.

1982 JA - Ex Enthuzed
1982 JA - For Sale - pending
1983 JA - Ex Auto-cross car - being parted out
1983 JA - Being parted out
1984 JA - Rolling shell - For Sale
1985 JB - Rally car project
1985 JB - Autocross car
1985 JB - Week-end cruiser
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