How to get the TV all to yourself.
Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2010 9:04 am
How to get the TV to yourself (using a Starion)
Discovered how to get the tv all to myself over the last few weeks which is harder that you would think with 2 teenaged daughters and a wife in the same house , male tv shows are a dying breed on our tv although I wouldnt suggest trying my method the earbashing and bruises just aren’t worth it the following steps are how I managed to reclaim my TV
1. First buy a Starion 2.0 turbo off a mate without asking or even mentioning it to her first while already having 7 cars in the yard (only 2 were running)
2. Proceed to explain to her why it was such a good deal for the price (LSD rear end, no rust, excellent motor, etc.) while skipping over the stuffed turbo and changing the subject when she asks "why is it smoking"
3. Blame all the fresh burnouts on the driveway and at the end of the street on " A MATE" that stopped in while she was out shopping while trying not to grin like an idiot and failing
4. Invent reasons to "just duck down to the shops" at 2 am when its nice and cold
5. Wake her up at 3am after "just ducking down to the shops" by limping home with a blown head gasket and telling her to come outside in her nighty to help cool the car down
6.Use towels found in back of linen cupboard as rags while pulling down motor (guys, towels with dolphins printed on them and wrapped in plastic are NOT rags no matter where you find them)
7. Turn a $20 headgasket replacement into a rebuilt head , 2xheadgaskets , 1.6mm steelshim , ARP head stud kit , inlet manifold modified , some new tools because the old ones are crap , full rebuild of the T04B turbo + some mods , and then there’s the incidentals like fluids filters and stuff
8.Try to explain that the savings missing from the bank that were put away for a "rainy day" (saying " I swear it was pissing down at the time honey" will get you slapped) must have been stolen by dodgy bank tellers and all the new shiny parts for the Starion are just a coincidence
9.Start a HUGE fight by saying that the new parts for the Starion are WAYYYYY more important than replacing the bald tyres on HER car
10.End the fight by agreeing to her demand that you sleep on the couch.
11. Announce to the family that your going to bed early and that you have decided to sleep naked.
12.Giggle like an idiot while teenaged daughters run away screaming and probably mentally scarred for life( its what therapy is for after all)
13.Grab TV remote relax and watch anything that isn’t a bloody teen drama show secure in the knowledge that you will not be disturbed by the kids (to fearfull to come into lounge room just in case you were serious about sleeping naked) or Wife (to pissed off to even look at you)
And when you read this honey as soon as the bruises and swelling go down i will put those new tyres on you car.
Discovered how to get the tv all to myself over the last few weeks which is harder that you would think with 2 teenaged daughters and a wife in the same house , male tv shows are a dying breed on our tv although I wouldnt suggest trying my method the earbashing and bruises just aren’t worth it the following steps are how I managed to reclaim my TV
1. First buy a Starion 2.0 turbo off a mate without asking or even mentioning it to her first while already having 7 cars in the yard (only 2 were running)
2. Proceed to explain to her why it was such a good deal for the price (LSD rear end, no rust, excellent motor, etc.) while skipping over the stuffed turbo and changing the subject when she asks "why is it smoking"
3. Blame all the fresh burnouts on the driveway and at the end of the street on " A MATE" that stopped in while she was out shopping while trying not to grin like an idiot and failing
4. Invent reasons to "just duck down to the shops" at 2 am when its nice and cold
5. Wake her up at 3am after "just ducking down to the shops" by limping home with a blown head gasket and telling her to come outside in her nighty to help cool the car down
6.Use towels found in back of linen cupboard as rags while pulling down motor (guys, towels with dolphins printed on them and wrapped in plastic are NOT rags no matter where you find them)
7. Turn a $20 headgasket replacement into a rebuilt head , 2xheadgaskets , 1.6mm steelshim , ARP head stud kit , inlet manifold modified , some new tools because the old ones are crap , full rebuild of the T04B turbo + some mods , and then there’s the incidentals like fluids filters and stuff
8.Try to explain that the savings missing from the bank that were put away for a "rainy day" (saying " I swear it was pissing down at the time honey" will get you slapped) must have been stolen by dodgy bank tellers and all the new shiny parts for the Starion are just a coincidence
9.Start a HUGE fight by saying that the new parts for the Starion are WAYYYYY more important than replacing the bald tyres on HER car
10.End the fight by agreeing to her demand that you sleep on the couch.
11. Announce to the family that your going to bed early and that you have decided to sleep naked.
12.Giggle like an idiot while teenaged daughters run away screaming and probably mentally scarred for life( its what therapy is for after all)
13.Grab TV remote relax and watch anything that isn’t a bloody teen drama show secure in the knowledge that you will not be disturbed by the kids (to fearfull to come into lounge room just in case you were serious about sleeping naked) or Wife (to pissed off to even look at you)
And when you read this honey as soon as the bruises and swelling go down i will put those new tyres on you car.