Austarion

Do not read any further if you are easily offended.














Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Special Olympics?
A: Not being retarded

Q: What's blue and fvcks old people?
A: Hypothermia

Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the battered
wives' shelter?
A: The dishes if she knows what's good for her

Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time
A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.

Q: What is the definition of "making love"?
A: Something a woman does while a guy is fvcking her.

Q: What do 54,000 abused woman every year have in common?
A: They don't fuckin listen.

Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
A: Gonorrhoea

Q: Why did God create yeast infections?
A: So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cvnt once
in a while too.

Q. How can you tell a macho woman?
A. She rolls her own tampons.

Q. Why do fags like ribbed condoms?
A. Better traction in the mud.

Q. What's the difference between a woman and a sheep?
A. The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister.

Q. What's the difference between acne and a Michael Jackson?
A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at least twelve.

Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it.

rofl :D

what i meant to say was.. no comment

hahahhahahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhaha
rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl LOL LOL LOL
love ur work mate LOL

(read this aloud and it makes more sense)
Whats the best thing about fvcking 29 year olds?
Theres 20 of em.

What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you've already told the bitch twice.

rofl

roll her own tampons! rofl thats just so wrong rofl

ProZac wrote:(read this aloud and it makes more sense)
Whats the best thing about fvcking 29 year olds?
Theres 20 of em.

thats sad....

Same reason i get such a laugh out of you, mate :P.

Although politically incorrect....


rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl

that's tops :beer and I had a good laugh :D

rofl

As the christian moderator on this forum I must object.

However the bloke in me says rofl rofl rofl

ha ha love one liners..

what's the difference between a snowman and a snowoman



Snowballs

how do you delete messages, it just went crazy ...

ok this is just plain wrong but is is ok on this thread

Q: Whats black and blue and hates sex?
A: A Rape Victim

Couple more, Less politically incorrect to keep our more religious watchers happy. Hope nobody plays bagpipes :o

Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?
He sold his soul to Santa

Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
He's all right now.

How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.

How do you get holy water?
Boil the hell out of it.

How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb?
She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment."

What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam".

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.

What do prisoners use to call each other?
Cell phones.

What do the letters D.N.A. stand for?
National Dyslexics Association.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.

What do you call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoilt milk.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a skin doctor?
A pachydermatologist

What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A pool table.

What is a zebra?
26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.

What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste.

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.

Where do you find a no legged dog?
Right where you left him.

Where do you get virgin wool from?
Ugly sheep.

Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
They all have phones.

Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.

Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
They're trying to get away from the noise.

What's the difference between a bagpipe and a chainsaw?
You can tune a chainsaw.

How do you get two bagpipers in tune?
Shoot one.