Sorry if this is WTLW. And if this offends anyone, perhaps you should of read the tittle.
What is better than winning a medal at the Special Olympics?: Not being
retarded
What's blue and fucks old people? Hypothermia
What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the battered
wives' shelter? The dishes if she knows what's good for her
How do you swat 200 flies at one time? Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a
frying pan.
What is the definition of "making love" Something a woman does while a guy
is fucking her.
What do 54,000 abused woman every year have in common? They don't fucking
listen.
What's yellow and green and eats nuts? Gonorrhea
Why did God create yeast infections? So women would know what it's like to
live with an irritating runt once in a while too.
How can you tell a macho woman? She rolls her own tampons.
Why do fags like ribbed condoms? Better traction in the mud.
What's the difference between a woman and a sheep? The sheep doesn't get
upset if you screw her sister.
What's the difference between acne and a Michael Jackson? Acne usually
doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at least 13 years old.
How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry it.
What do you get when you cross two black people? Your ass kicked.
What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A hooker can
wash her crack and sell it again.
Why do men pay more for car insurance? Because women don't get blow jobs
while they're driving.
What's the difference between mayonnaise & semen? Mayonnaise doesn't hit
the back of a girl's throat at thirty miles an hour.
Why do women call it PMS? Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
What's a mixed feeling? When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff
in your new car.
What's the height of conceit? Having an orgasm and calling out your own
name.
What's the definition of macho? Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party? The cake jumps out
of the girl.
What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex? Oral sex makes your day,
anal sex makes your hole weak.
How is pubic hair like parsley? You push it to the side before you start
eating.
What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob? You know she'll swallow.
Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the same day
in Iraq? They don't want to wear out the camel.
What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A Catholic
wife has real orgasms and fake jewellery.
What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually
search for a golf ball.
How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know when it is bedtime?
When the big hand touches the little hand...
How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house? Look
inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.
Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex? They spray paint X's on
the back of the animals that kick.
Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it.
Offensive jokes
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ninja_j_dawg
- [P] Plates
- Posts: 39
- Joined: Thu Oct 28, 2004 6:26 pm
- Location: Adelaide
Re: Offensive jokes
More like WTLY.. a couple of new ones have been added though.Glenjo wrote:Sorry if this is WTLW.
hehe i like that one. also:Why do men pay more for car insurance? Because women don't get blow jobs
while they're driving.
What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
Full :o
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_________________
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Re: Offensive jokes
roflGlenjo wrote:
What's blue and fucks old people? Me
Watch your speed - It's virtually impossible to pick it out of the carpet if it gets blown off the table.
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starion007
- Big Dorifto
- Posts: 90
- Joined: Fri Nov 26, 2004 8:19 am
- Location: sydney
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her twice!
What's the difference between spit, smear and swallow?
A fling, love and true love.
Ancient Chinese proverb - "Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone!"
Why do medicine bottles have cotton in them?
To remind black people they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers!
What do you call a leper in a spa?
Stu
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool?
Bob
Why do they use powdered soap in the Navy?
It takes longer to pick up.
A Buddhist monk walks into a pizza shop and asks "Make me one with everything."
Rarely does a loose woman have a tight pussy.
Nothing, you already told her twice!
What's the difference between spit, smear and swallow?
A fling, love and true love.
Ancient Chinese proverb - "Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone!"
Why do medicine bottles have cotton in them?
To remind black people they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers!
What do you call a leper in a spa?
Stu
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool?
Bob
Why do they use powdered soap in the Navy?
It takes longer to pick up.
A Buddhist monk walks into a pizza shop and asks "Make me one with everything."
Rarely does a loose woman have a tight pussy.
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